In the days following the Women’s March many women expressed their positive, negative or mixed feelings about The March. I expected this and looked forward to the commentaries and thought on The March being expressed by women. I helped educate men on women’s issues and the problems with certain strains of feminism. I expected some people would blow up on social media over The March and how it didn’t represent them or that women were over reacting. I was expecting this. What I was not expecting, and found quite insulting, was how certain men over social media decided to lash out at women who participated in The March by intentionally using language that was created to insult women. More over they claimed to support women’s equality and called themselves feminists. Yeah, whatever.
Out of many incidences that were reported by friends over social media and others I read about over various media platforms, one went down amongst my Facebook connections. A few mornings after The March I laid in my bed (at my parent’s house in Georgia) scrolling through my Facebook news feed when I came across a shocking, insulting and misogynistic post. When I looked at who had written and subsequently posted it I realized that the person was a fellow alumni of my alma matter and former classmate. The BuzzFeed article that was included with this man’s post presented a fair and honest critique of the Women’s March. That’s where my male “friend” should have stopped. He should have let the female author of the article, via the article, speak for herself with out male commentary. But, no, this male “friend” had to write his own commentary that was derogative and demeaning towards women. I consider it mansplaining. This man consciously decided to use sexual language that was created to offend women and strip them of any humanity. So he dropped fuck and castrated at one point and in a single sentence used the words gelded, neutered and vasectomize. Just purely violent words. And then there’s issue of how the whole post talks down to women and assumes that women are not capable of anything. Then, at the same time, the post has the voice that women need men to tell them what to do. Oh, there’s this comment that my “friend” made claiming that “I want nothing more than to see gender equality – ok that might not be completely true, but its definitely in my top 10…ish.” How can one claim that their for gender equality when they don’t really support it? Always, the whole post and and a good number of the comments rubbed me the wrong way. Most of the offensive comments were made by men. Like comment about the National Riffle Association and how it’s policies were “too liberal”. What does that have to do with women’s issues. Or my “fiend” readily dismissing some women’s issues that were central to The March because they were “liberal issues” that didn’t really impact women. So, yes, a number of issues that were part of The March platform or central to women’s issues and rights were dismissed by this man as liberal creations. I wish I could have salvaged some of the wonderful comments.
After this man wrote a few more posts about current and abhorrent executive orders that I found offensive towards Liberals I decided to unfriend him of Facebook. With that said I also loss access the post and the comments that lambasted women for daring to stand up for our rights or those who appose the new administration. I managed to go through my log activity and find the original post as well as my response to the post. So, here it is. You can see what he wrote for your self.
Epic isn’t it. So I respond with this very long comment that I had spent all morning typing out on my iPhone.
So, this all brings to the big question: Why are there a good number of men out there who are outraged by the Women’s March or because so many women don’t support the new administration? Or, let’s face it, think their better for going to The March than the woman who didn’t attend because of well founded reasons or barriers. Even our feminist foresisters faced outrage by men when they demanded their rights. What I have learned from the Women’s March is that a good number of these men still don’t get it. They still don’t understand women’s issues. They still don’t understand the power dynamics. They still don’t understand the barriers that women face when it comes to attending rallies, protests and demonstrations. They still don’t understand that these barriers still primarily effect women because women are the ones who fill these spaces. What these men need to realize and understand is that women are not trying to make them subservient to women but that we just want to be treated with the same equality and power that men enjoy. And if a woman not going to a feminist event offends you despite her giving you reasonable and well founded reasons, then maybe, just maybe you need to ask yourself why you are offended or better then her.